I answered a blocked call

When I say a blocked caller I don’t mean in the sense I didn’t know who was calling, I knew who it was, it was God. I meant I had blocked the calls. For years now he has been calling me but I repeatedly refused to answer. I wasn’t sure want he wanted from me but I was sure that it wouldn’t be anything I would want to give him. I was comfortable in my ways, I was living the college life and loving it. I would tell myself “I can do whatever I want to now, and when I’m older I’ll be a better Christian.” But this past year I’ve become increasingly more convicted and recently come to realize that, that is a lie.
God’s voice became louder in my life. So loud I could not help but answer his call. He was calling me to follow him, this I knew. I said “okay I’ll do this God, and for real this time.” And just as I began to put effort into my daily life to live as a disciple and started to feel comfortable, God called me again. He called me here to Central America to be a short term missionary. I soon learned that the Bible was serious when it said God doesn’t call us to be comfortable.
My learning was just beginning. If I made you a list of everything I’ve learned this far, or better yet, let you read my journal (which actually would never happen so we’ll just stick with a list) it wouldn’t end. God is constantly showing up for me, he is faithful in his pursuit of my heart and of my life. He has set a fire in my soul and given me a passion for wanting more of him.

God has taught me that I am obedient by saying yes to him and by allowing him to send me here and anywhere else for the rest of my life. That isn’t something that’s easy for me to say. I don’t want you to read this part and think to yourself “oh how awesome is she that she’s so willing to go where God sends her.” No. I’m living a missionary life as I write this. I shower once a week, I sometimes do laundry by hand, I can’t flush toilet paper, I sleep on a cot and I fall asleep to the sounds of geckos, mosquitoes in my ear, and other unidentifiable creatures. I know the comforts of America, and I’m experiencing the opposite. Saying yes to going where God wants me isn’t easy, in fact the thought of it scares me. I would do it willingly, but it would still be a hard thing to do because I know what it entails. A basic lifestyle. A sometimes gross and dirty one.

I am not saying I’m being called to some far away land, at least right now, but if I were I would go. And before this 3 month experience I doubt I would have the same response and I think it’s because of the biggest thing I’ve learned so far. And that is that God wants all of me. Being a disciple isn’t a pick and choose kinda thing, “I won’t murder anyone but eh my neighbor is weird I don’t think God will care or even notice if I don’t love her”. Wrong. If you follow God it’s a life commitment and it’s a way a living.

I’ve learned too that telling myself that the bad decisions I make today don’t matter. Because I have time and I’ll be a Christian when I’m older. No. The Bible tells us we must be ready always for the return of The Lord. Matthew 24:44 Therefore you also must be ready for the son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

We don’t know when our King will return, but when he does I want to him to see me and say you glorified my name with your life and you shall have eternal life with me. There are no more tomorrows’ for me, no more “I will be a Christian later”. I have learned this is all or nothing. I for one, am all in. I’ll walk by faith the rest of my life…I answered a blocked call, and now he’s the one I call on everyday